Having twins is an absolute joy and absolutely SO much work. I would talk to other twin parents when the girls were newborns, and I was constantly being told: “it doesn’t get easier… it just gets different.” That would make me want to scream. Seriously, what the heck does that even mean? Well, friends, I can now fully understand what it means. The babies sleep now, and we don’t have to feed them every 3 hours around the clock. We don’t have the ‘witching hour’ where they just cry all evening long for no reason. However, I now have to entertain two babies all day long. I have to feed them 3 full meals a day. I have to dress them both every day (OK, every other day…ish) while they crawl over each other’s faces.
And leaving the house? I basically pack an overnight bag, so there’s that. When I first found out that we were having twins, I hyperventilated. There were so many unknowns, and I had so many questions. Now that I have survived a year of having twins (+1), I have a few thoughts…
I have more patience
There have been days when all 3 kids have cried. all. day. long. This has also happened when I’ve had only 3 hours of sleep. I’ve learned to mentally prepare myself. If I can sense that my toddler is about to meltdown, or the babies are teething and grumpy, I step away and take a few deep breaths. I remind myself that staying calm is something I will never regret. Now, I’m not saying that I haven’t lost it on my toddler, or snapped at my husband because it totally happens. I’m just saying that these stressful situations have given me the skills to have more patience so that it happens less.
I feel the need to share stressful moments of my day
With my husband, while he’s at work, which he really appreciates. But in all seriousness, when he gets home from work and our lunch dishes are still on the table, I’m in my pajamas, and we’re having cereal for dinner, I want him to know why. No, it’s not because I was watching reruns of ‘Gilmore Girls’ all day (although that has been known to happen on occasion). It’s because one baby pooped in the bath tub, another baby had a blowout the second they got out of the bathtub, and the toddler threw a fit because he wanted his mac n cheese uncooked. I even send him pictures as evidence, and I don’t plan on stopping. He gets to go on a luxurious vacation (aka leaves the house) every day, and so I send him daily doses of what’s going on at our casa.
I let things go
It’s a full-time job to keep up with groceries, cooking, and laundry. Before I actually became a mom, I planned on being the mom who always looked put together. My house would be spotless, I would have Pinterest worthy activities, would exercise regularly and put elegantly plated, cooked from scratch meals on the table every night. I finally realized that, although I CAN do all of these things, it just isn’t worth it. I have to let things go in order to maintain a small amount of clarity. If you come over to my house, there will likely be toys on the floor, a basket of laundry waiting to be folded, and I may even be wearing sweatpants. I could get up at 5:00 AM to get it all done; never spend time with my husband; never do anything for myself, but I’m not! I’m choosing to let it go.
I throw my hair up and handle it
It takes a lot to phase me. Carry a tantrum-throwing toddler to the car? Piece of cake. Chase said toddler across the park and carry him to the car while pushing a double stroller? Been there, done that, stopped for wine on the way home. I haven’t always been this way. Things that would have absolutely made me have a heart attack pre-twins, I just deal with now, because there is no time to even react. Changing a poopy diaper at the same moment the toddler learns how to dispense water from the refrigerator all over the entire floor? Pre-twins, I would have lost it. Post twins? Toddler gets a towel and a lesson on cleaning the floor after I dispose of the poopy diaper and wash my hands.
Not because I am a tougher mom than you
I’m not trying to brag and be all like “I’m so amazing” or anything simply because I don’t bat an eye at going to Target with 3 small children. I’m simply saying that I don’t have a choice. When you’re by yourself and have two premature babies that need to eat every 3 hours, and your toddler throws up all over his high-chair, you can’t say “sorry kid, I can’t handle this right now, please contain your vomit until tomorrow.” There is no choice but to clean up the vomit, put him in front of the t.v. with a bucket, and go back to feeding the babies.
And this has made me stronger
I have a newfound confidence in my ability to handle whatever life throws my way. I feel like this is a nice way of describing how insanely chaotic and exhausting it is to have 3 small children, but hey- I don’t want to scare any twin moms to be!
Can you relate to this? I’d love to hear about some things that you’ve let go. Drop them in the comments!